New Year's Resolutions: 2013

Sorry I've not blogged, it's all not been particularly interesting...here goes though.

New Year's Resolutions

• Give up alcohol: I know I've given it up lots of times, so not that impressive. Found that I was fed up of it and pretty certain that it's added flab to my waistband again over the christmas period. Got the rest of the vodka from my last entry, but it's going straight down the sink when I get back to Spain: not worth it, not clever, and not even remotely beneficial
• Read a book every two weeks: maybe even more in that time
• Complete C25K and keep up the running : Increasingly scared by this half marathon, let's not go there. If I can do that then it'll be enough for me. Slacked a bit this holiday and suspect it'll go back up again when I go back to Spain
• Fridge rule: Don't eat things from the fridge unless it's on a plate. And a reasonable-sized-portion plate. No excuses. Hasn't happened so much in the latter part of the year except when christmas has hit, so it'll be easy to get back into that habit.
• Lost the rest of that 2st 5lbs: I am now 60lbs down and have 33lbs to go to target weight now. It may be slightly more by now but I have decided to skip weigh-in this week (sorry folks, I am far wimpier than I thought..!)
• Take more time to sit and plan: proven to make yourself more productive
• Plan small intervals in the day in which to calm down : ditto above.
• Replace fizzy drinks with water/tea: had this going really well at one point but that has gone back again. Just want to drink more antioxidants and stuff really.
• Limit my time on 'gadgets' : a given, really, which will come with making lists and scheduling my life I guess.
• Look for a new job!!! - and finally begin the rest of my life!
• Keep in contact with people more!!! - especially of late, I've been really terrible at this which is no reflection on the people in my life, just that I think I've got so wrapped up in my own world and I'm so sorry! It ends here!!

Happy new year, guys :) Challenge yourself in the coming year but remember to be realistic with your new year's resolutions. Make a concerted effort to change your life and self! Good luck!!

A principios de Diciembre

Sorry that I've not blogged in a while - I admit I haven't been in the right place for probably a good...month or so. Which culminated in this being consumed in one night...

Really not proud, but figured that if I don't confront it head on and open up about it then I'll never fight it. I'm happy to say that the bottle has not been touched since that night about a week ago - however, that cannot happen again. I'm surprised that this was after losing 54lbs, I thought my threshold would be lower, and especially since I hadn't drunk more than about one drink a night (on rare occasions) since graduation (29th June) but, apparently my liver has other plans. ANYWAY let's not go down that route.

That might actually be another time to explain the stones on either side, which was something I picked up from a weight loss forum - to track the pounds you've lost and pounds that remain through little pebbles. The pounds lost (with bigger pebbles, admittedly) are on the left, the other pounds on the right. I actually bought two of those containers but really underestimated how many I'd fit in there...the other container is currently being turned into an Exercise 8 ball if that makes any sense (it won't, so I'll explain it anyway) - I'm going to put in all kinds of fitness prompts like "do 20 squats" and that kinda stuff (when I get time to) to motivate myself to just workout when I can - whenever I think of the 'magic 8 ball', I have to pick out something at random, whatever it may be (Getting my ideas from @fitness (who I have recently discovered promotes 'slimming tablets', despite claiming to be so healthy, so I'd advise you to watch out and don't take their word for everything) and @ohheyteresa (who...does not! And who endorses healthy eating and exercise a lot, and has been very encouraging during this weight loss shindig)

Anyway the two big things I want to announce

I am now at 56lbs weight loss, aka I've lost 4st and have got 2st 9 to go now until my target, and a mere 16lbs until I am a normal BMI, so I'm incredibly shocked at where I've found myself now

Secondly, probably against my better judgement, I have agreed to do a half marathon in March. I don't run AT ALL, couldn't even do it in school, so I suspect it will be very much a quick dash power walk if I can even manage that. This is crude but true - I am cacking myself about it. The person I am doing it with pointed out that he hadn't run at all before doing it, no training, and fast walked his first marathon - he's lost about 60lbs and has done quite a few marathons since, I believe about 5 but I might be making that up. It may be more or slightly less.

Tbh, I think his moral support and ill-conceived faith in me and the fact that I'd have a close friend was what made me say yes. 

Well, that and this 'yes man' attitude I've suddenly rediscovered - DAMN YOU DANNY WALLACE.

I don't think I have even half the determination he does but I really need to pick it up now. I'm joining a gym as soon as I get back in january - I have a feeling it won't be enough but dammit, I'll try it! Back to the couch 25k when I get home too! (speaking of going home, I'm afraid to say I'm scared of Christmas and the eat-til-you-puke that will be going on around me. Then again, I have it now ingrained into my head that this is officially my last fat Christmas (until I have kids), so I am aiming not to cheat myself and my progress!

Main thing is, after a few rough weeks, I gave myself a little break after vodkagate last week, and I've picked it back up again this week. Just goes to prove, a little too much over-thinking can add the pressure on you without you even realising. I think what with the town feeling a bit lonely, this didn't help, and I'm overwhelmed by the support that people have given me online or through other means in such a grey time. I've finally admitted to someone here what happened and it's fine to admit you'll slip up at points or that you plummet - the past matters not, it's what you do next to resolve your situation. I now feel in control, thankfully.

Also, I'm so embarrassed to say, I'm writing this in a cafe and (to make final progress pictures) pictures of me in my underpants with a stomach the size of Africa just came up and I'm like AHHHH. And yesterday I realised my tagged huge pictures on facebook could be seen, so I felt it's probably time for another progress photo....this one is actually from two weeks ago, but I've lost about 4lbs in 2 weeks, so nothing's drastically changed in those two weeks. Same "THEN" ape-photo as before, since there are some fucking hideous ones I've just seen on facebook that I can't bring myself to download, lol.

"He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee."